A Video on Emotional Intelligence

A paraprofessional who is lacking some competence in emotional intelligence. Check out the video!!!

My Choice for a Personal Mentor

I had a lot of "mentor" like people in my life that have mentored me in some way; each one significant in certain areas of my life. However, I did not choose them to be my mentor; they just came into my life in different ways and beyond my awareness became an individual possessing mentor "ish" characteristics.

If I have a choice to choose my own personal mentor I would like for that individual to be a Christian or, more simply, a person who believes in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.

A mentor who is Christian is a mentor I would feel very comfortable with since we share common interests and thoughts related with Christianity. I believe wholeheartedly that Christianity is not just another religion or man's made up religion to feel good about themselves. Christianity is reality and a lifestyle that I believe is connected to each individual's life in some what way. A mentor who understands this is someone who deeply understands what areas of my life that a young guy like myself should be developed in.

Of course, most of the individuals in my life were not Christians yet I learned a lot from them. I am not devaluing the importance of others who believe in something else. I am more than willing to learn from anyone. However, I would feel uncomfortable if I had mentor who attempts to change my mindset on the very things I am for and against. Moreover, I would have a hard time being vulnerable to a mentor who's advice doesn't exactly hit the right spot; that spot that would inspire and influence me to become more like Jesus Christ 2000 years ago or so.

Every type of mentor has their benefit but my personal choice for a mentor would be a person who believes in the most powerful, loving person in existence: Jesus Christ.

Skateboarding Yo

A new adventure has unfolded when my friend two Saturdays ago gave me his skateboard for free. We had a Christian meeting that night but I must admit that I wanted to try it out so badly at that moment. More than a week later, I am still continuing the sport without any desire or willingness to stop.

Long ago I had no interest in skateboards. It was just another means of transportation, along with a million tricks one can do with a skateboard. However, when I started to really see how the skateboarders on campus zip and zoom around people to get to point A to point B, not too mention how cool some of the dudes looked riding their boards in a nonchalant way as if it wasn't a big deal, a spark of interest and respect began to grow. Interest and respect continued to grow until last semester the idea to try out skateboarding was born.

Fast forwarding to future, it has been a week since I started skateboarding. The first days were the hardest and I didn't want anyone, especially guys, looking at me practice. To say the least, I was insecure. However, my desire to skateboard grew more and more. Skateboarding became more than just a means of transportation but a hobby that has the possibility to distract me from school and work. Surely enough, it did a number of times.

Before I quited video games, playing video games gave me a sweet feeling in my heart. Although skateboarding is a workout in itself with occasional falls there and there (especially a big one when I was going to church) it has become like candy for me; eat one and you'll be looking to have another as soon as possible. I am still not good like the other skateboarders but balance and control are becoming better friends to me day by day.

As of now and probably until the day I kick the bucket, skateboarding will stay as a means of transportation and a means to get outside, suck up some fresh air, and cruise around wherever there is pavement and concrete. I HAVE NO INTEREST IN DOING SKATEBOARDING TRICKS!!! I love my face, neck, spine, bones, and other important body parts as they are now. Though someone has told me that you might say "no" now but once skateboarding becomes second nature to you you're going to want to expand your horizons towards to the land of skateboarding tricks. That could be true. "Never say Never" I always hear. But as of now, NO to skateboard tricks and YES to simple skateboarding.

Article on Mentoring: Productive Conversations

A couple days ago I found an article about productive mentoring conversations. It mentions that if you (a mentor) want to get to know your mentoring partner and increase the likelihood that you will generate new awareness and learning, conducting productive conversations is the key to obtaining these goals.


2 essential elements for productive conversation are Balance and Quality.


Balance:

The article mentions that a balanced dialogue has an equal amount of telling and asking behaviors. Telling behaviors are "open and honest expressions of feelings, facts, and guesses in an attempt to share your point of view or understanding". Asking behaviors are "active solicitations by you to gain more understanding and insight into your perceptions and awareness. The important thing is that the mentor must be in charge to make sure that the dialogue flow is balanced.

Below are a couple of things that happen when the dialogue flow is unbalanced.

Telling too much: You might show signs of disinterest in the opinion and thoughts of others and seem to confident with your opinions. This can make you look like a know-it-all, the kind of person that makes people feel insecured and resentful.

Asking too much: It will look like you are hiding behind your questions, obtaining info without the willingness to share your thoughts and opinions. This can make you look like a inquisitor, which causes mistrust and suspicion.

Asking and telling too little: You might show signs of aloofness, disconnection, or lack of interest. This can make you look reclusive, a behavior that can depersonalize or devalue someone.

In short, both the mentor and mentee should aim for balance in their conversational flow.

Quality:

Any type of conversation can be peronsally engaging or not. The article mentions that "an engaged connection can be described as trustworthy, non-defensive, and personally revealing". Conversation should be engaging if you want to improve the quality of your connection with your mentee. How to do that is simple: Give voice to your thoughts and opinions, be personally vulnerable to your mentee, let down your defenses, and expose your true ideas and opinions. No openness = No quality connection.

Some other characteristics of productive conversation are (as quoted):

• Mutual Contribution – Both parties share in a back and forth

manner. Either participant has the freedom to initiate or

contribute to the direction of the conversation.

• Constructive Banter – There is often an unforeseen destination

that is arrived at through a spirited exchange. Both feel a high

sense of connection with the topic being discussed.

• Generative Possibilities – A high likelihood exists that new or

original understandings or knowledge will be produced.

In a nutshell, productive conversations lead to these results:

Meaningful Conversation

Different Points of Views being shared

Enhanced Relational Understanding

Increased Trust

Deeper Appreciate for Eachother

The True Essence of each person is being revealed

Gain a Deepening Awareness of the Strengths and Abilities of Your Partner 

and much more.......