Article on Mentoring: Productive Conversations

A couple days ago I found an article about productive mentoring conversations. It mentions that if you (a mentor) want to get to know your mentoring partner and increase the likelihood that you will generate new awareness and learning, conducting productive conversations is the key to obtaining these goals.


2 essential elements for productive conversation are Balance and Quality.


Balance:

The article mentions that a balanced dialogue has an equal amount of telling and asking behaviors. Telling behaviors are "open and honest expressions of feelings, facts, and guesses in an attempt to share your point of view or understanding". Asking behaviors are "active solicitations by you to gain more understanding and insight into your perceptions and awareness. The important thing is that the mentor must be in charge to make sure that the dialogue flow is balanced.

Below are a couple of things that happen when the dialogue flow is unbalanced.

Telling too much: You might show signs of disinterest in the opinion and thoughts of others and seem to confident with your opinions. This can make you look like a know-it-all, the kind of person that makes people feel insecured and resentful.

Asking too much: It will look like you are hiding behind your questions, obtaining info without the willingness to share your thoughts and opinions. This can make you look like a inquisitor, which causes mistrust and suspicion.

Asking and telling too little: You might show signs of aloofness, disconnection, or lack of interest. This can make you look reclusive, a behavior that can depersonalize or devalue someone.

In short, both the mentor and mentee should aim for balance in their conversational flow.

Quality:

Any type of conversation can be peronsally engaging or not. The article mentions that "an engaged connection can be described as trustworthy, non-defensive, and personally revealing". Conversation should be engaging if you want to improve the quality of your connection with your mentee. How to do that is simple: Give voice to your thoughts and opinions, be personally vulnerable to your mentee, let down your defenses, and expose your true ideas and opinions. No openness = No quality connection.

Some other characteristics of productive conversation are (as quoted):

• Mutual Contribution – Both parties share in a back and forth

manner. Either participant has the freedom to initiate or

contribute to the direction of the conversation.

• Constructive Banter – There is often an unforeseen destination

that is arrived at through a spirited exchange. Both feel a high

sense of connection with the topic being discussed.

• Generative Possibilities – A high likelihood exists that new or

original understandings or knowledge will be produced.

In a nutshell, productive conversations lead to these results:

Meaningful Conversation

Different Points of Views being shared

Enhanced Relational Understanding

Increased Trust

Deeper Appreciate for Eachother

The True Essence of each person is being revealed

Gain a Deepening Awareness of the Strengths and Abilities of Your Partner 

and much more.......